Things Must've Been Going Too Well

People kept asking me, "So, how's life?" And I have, up until now, had nothing but good things to talk about. I went on a fabulous (but very busy) trip with a family a babysit for, paid for by them (plus an extra $800!) and got to leave on my birthday, so it was a cool birthday present on top of that. I've been getting plenty of babysitting business to help pay the bills and just enjoying my summer. I got good grades (could've gotten all A's if I hadn't slacked at the end). So life has been going pretty well. The Saturday happened. Let me explain.

I sat down with my laptop to respond to a new parent I'll be working with this summer. When I went to look for my backpack to get my schedule book out of it, I couldn't find my backpack anywhere. I knew I had brought my backpack home the night before when I came home from babysitting because my lap top had been in it and I had it. I had my phone which had been in my backpack, and I drank the diet coke I had gotten out of my back pack last night. So where was the back pack? My purse and wallet were inside, so I really needed to find it. I thought maybe my room mate put it in his room, mistaking it for his own (they're the same brand). But no, it's not in his room either. I'm really freaked the fuck out by this point because the only other explanation for my backpack not being anywhere in the house is that someone came into our home and took it. I start to get close to hysterical and instead of holding me and helping me calm down, G starts yelling at me about it and blaming me. I over-reacted in part because I was two days over-due for my depression meds and hormonal on top of it. Then I get both my husband and room mate telling me it's not that big of a deal (when none of their shit got stolen) and making me feel even worse about the whole thing. To me, it was a big deal. It's a major pain in the ass to have to replace my ID and shit (luckily there weren't any credit cards or anything, just a bank card). When I looked to see if anything else was missing, I realized my ipod, which had been on the counter right above the backpack, was gone too.

It could have been a lot worse than it was. I understand that quite well. They really didn't get anything of any monetary value. No one got hurt. Nothing got smashed or ruined or ransacked. That being said, I am extremely angry and disappointed at how G reacted to me and the situation. At a moment when I really, really needed his emotional support and strength, not only did he not come through, he did the exact opposite. I feel so let down by him. I am so angry at his hypocrisy too. He has freaked out just because he lost his keys temporarily and then gets mad at me for freaking out when my backpack, with my purse, wallet & schedule book inside are stolen out of my own home. When I pointed that out to him he said, "Yeah well I didn't cry." I couldn't believe it when he said this. Of course he didn't cry!!! He yelled and punched the wall! Would he rather I react that way?! What asshole! I'm just really mad at him today. I can't even talk to him about anything related to the incident without him accusing me of either harping about it or yelling at him about it when I am quite obviously doing neither.

If he can't come through for me on something like this, how can I count on him to be there for me in other times of crises?