Disciplining Children

I was watching Montel this morning and his show was about hitting your kids. So far, it's the dads who are more into hitting or spanking as a form of discipline than the moms. But I know that is certainly not the case across the board. G and I have talked about our feelings about spanking and I think we pretty much agree on our philosophy. I bet a lot of people wouldn't agree with this but we both feel that girls require slightly different discipline than boys as they get older. When they're toddlers and preschoolers it's pretty much the same. Firm boundaries are necessary, but yelling never is (unless you're calling to them from some distance, of course). Keeping calm while giving giving a time out or redirecting their activity/behavior is the most effective. hen they're older and have the ability to think through their actions, that's when the difference comes in. Girls respond to talking much better than boys. You can explain to a girl why she shouldn't do something and most of the time that will be sufficient (with reminders or course). With boys, talking doesn't always work. Many boys are more action-based and when someone starts talking for awhile they tune out. So it's important to be a little more physical with them. Not by hitting, but in other ways. For example, if you keep telling him to quit playing in the street and he won't listen, go out into the street and pick him and/or physically move him. There again, it's important to stay calm while doing so.

Regardless of any form of discipline, if you are too angry to discipline your child in a calm manner, walk away until you are. When you discipline children in anger, it's just not as effective because they see you reacting out of anger, not with a level head. Kids are sponges and will soak up what ever you put there.

I firmly believe that when you hit someone, you're basically inviting them to hit you back. Parents are surprised when their teenagers start hitting them back, but what else can they expect? That's the way they have taught their children to deal with their anger. Not very constructive, huh?