Back to Normal...Sorta

Well, Indiana was interesting. The night before we left, DH got a call from his sister, TW. TW was really upset because of a phone call she received from their cousin. This cousin had just heard that DH would be at the family reunion (which TW organized) and was very upset because her children would be there and she felt they would be at risk being in the vicinity of DH because of his HIV. TW was aghast at this but asked (to see what she'd say) what she thought TW should do. Cousin said that TW should disinvite DH!! TW then said "He's my brother for God's sake!!! You wouldn't do that to your own brother!" To which Cousin replied "Yes I would." So TW told her, "I always knew you'd sell out your family, I just didn't know what it would take." Anyway, there was more to the conversation but I can't remember it all. DH was trying to act like he wasn't upset, but I could tell he was. When we got to Indiana, we had a great time seeing TW, her kids and DH & TW's dad, NR. TW didn't want to go to the reunion at all but had to drop off some food, plus NR wanted (and needed, really) to see his brother who is getting pretty old, so I went with them while DH stayed behind at the hotel because he didn't want to cause a scene. The bitch cousin wouldn't even talk to me when I got there, but I was introduced to everyone else. They all were nice and equally mad at Bitch Cousin. They kept asking where DH was and all his other cousins' kids were asking where he was. Many of them decided to go to our hotel later on to see DH. When we got back from the reunion I told DH what happened. He was visibly upset and started to cry a bit. It was so hard to handle. He didn't want to see his other family members because he lumped them all together. Luckily I managed to talk him into going out to see them after awhile. It took some doing though. I didn't want to see him hate his whole family for what one bitch did. Granted, it was frustrating that they didn't make a bigger deal out of it and publicly shame that cousin, but I guess that's not how things are done in Indiana. As soon as I get the address for this cousin I'm going to send her a lovely card.

In other news, my friend from boarding school, Stacee, is pregnant with her 5th kid. I should be happy for her. I'm having a hard time with that. Damn it, I want to be pregnant. I guess some people are just meant to have a lot of babies. I've never wanted a lot of babies. I just want the process to not be so hard. I know, fruitless wishes. The thing is, though, is that I thought I had really come to grips with my situation and accepted it, but still, everytime I hear about a friend or family member getting pregnant the easy way I get a twinge of jealousy. And I'm so not a jealous person, either, so this is a weird feeling for me.

Maybe if I just print out all the paperwork and fill it out, the ball will start rolling, so to speak.